And if the network you’re on has Twitter blocked, but you’re Jonesing for more of my “witty” banter, here are some of my favorites.
… it’s worth noting that the Bible’s 82nd Psalm says something that many people find shockingly un-Biblical: You are gods.
I’ve always thought so.
Just because it made me laugh out loud …
Jenny: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you’re gonna be?
Forrest: Who I’m gonna be?
Forrest: Aren’t I going to be me?
via Forrest Gump.
… don’t assume it’s harmless.
Chef dies after spitting cobra he was cooking bit him on the hand – 20 minutes after he had cut its head off.
I need to try this. Too bad I hate cooking so much. I eat way too many snacks at work, but at least these are healthy. The snack machine and I have had a falling out (it no longer recognizes my “shopper’s card”), so now’s a good time to try this.
So far, CropMobster has managed to distribute nearly half a million kilograms of food, which has brought in close to a million dollars in revenue for small producers.
Signing my daughter up for softball, I just had to laugh at this (stripped down) Parents Code of Ethics:
• I will encourage good sportsmanship
• I will place the emotional and physical well-being of my child ahead of my personal desire to win.
• I will remember that the game is for the youth – not adults.
I guess they got sick of parents yelling and screaming and getting into fights!
My site FriendsNews.com has been dog slow for quite a while now. I’ve tried everything under the sun to speed it up. Finally, in desperation, I copied FriendsNews (plural) over to FriendNews (singular) dot com from my BlueHost provider to my FatCow provider.
Wow, what a difference! The manually-timed (counting one thousand one, one thousand two, etc.) load time for FriendsNews (plural) was 20 seconds. Pathetic. The load time for FriendNews (singular) was 4 seconds. You read that right, four (4) seconds! Quite an improvement! Even faster on my work computer.
Both sites are WordPress installations. In the “old” site’s defense, I did leave out a few, possibly key, plugins for this new install; namely, Jetpack by WordPress, Fast Secure Contact Form, WP Socializer and Yop Poll Plugin.
Still testing, but at least I’ve narrowed it (the sluggishness) down to either my webhost/provider or one or more of the above plugins.
I love World Cup soccer (“football/futbol” to most of the world), so life is good now with all the games on. I’m ticked at ABC/ESPN for limiting all USA games to ESPN, which I can’t see because we don’t subscribe to cable TV. Of course, they do that to force people like me to subscribe, which I won’t do. If I could get just a one-month subscription, I might do that, but I don’t think that’s available. Guess I’ll be going to a restaurant or bar for those games.
Right now, it’s Colombia vs. Greece on ABC. I don’t care who wins, so long as it’s a good game. I hate how so many of these players are “diving drama queens,” acting like they’ve been shot or punched, falling to the ground in “agony,” when the replay shows that they weren’t even touched. [in foreign accent, choose one], “His shoelace grazed my shin! I cannot bear the pain!”
From somewhere on the Internet …
- Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
- Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
- Name the last five Academy Award winners for best actor or actress.
- Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.
How did you do? The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:
They have a 77-year-old trainer who thought his big-time days were over, and a jockey who grew up afraid of horses.
They pulled California Chrome’s name out of Coburn’s cowboy hat. If not for the luck of the draw the horse could have been named Seabisquick.
Here’s hoping he wins! The race is tomorrow, Saturday, late afternoon Eastern time, usually on NBC.