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The Holmes Family Newsletter
Vol. 1 No. 3, July, 1989
[Editor's Note: Due to profanity, nudity, and the mature theme of this issue, parental discretion is advised.]
Mike made the Cal State Stanislaus Dean's List for the '88-'89 school year! There was a BIG write-up on him in the Chronicle the Livingston Chronicle. Well, it wasn't really a BIG write-up, actually. In fact, it wasn't really a "write-up" at all. But, they did mention his name!
Speaking of Mike, he caused quite a stir on his KCSS radio show in Turlock when, in response to the recent political controversy, he burned an American flag over the airwaves. When one of his fellow DJs called the radio station to express concern, Mike, of course, hung up on him. In an exclusive interview with The Newsletter, Mike, known professionally as "Big Dick", explained "I did it for America."
At last month's Police Olympics in Oxnard, Lucy won a Silver Medal in the 30K run! So what if there were only two contestants. You ever try running thirty kilometers? When asked about Lucy's incredible feat, Mike said "It would have been a lot quicker in a car."
Speaking of Lucy's car, it was recently demolished in a car chase/shoot-out. Lucy was unhurt, but the car suffered severe damage to the left blinker and front license plate. For details, call Lucy, collect.
Steve has finished his novel based on his bicycle trip across the country. It's taken a lot of hard work and research, but it's finally done. Steve will be publishing it himself as soon as Don has finished formatting it in the computer for him.
Be sure and reserve a copy for yourself! Coming soon to a bookstore near you!
Dad, not to be outdone, is writing two (2) books about the Portuguese people. One of them is about Portuguese people in the Sacramento area; the other traces our own family heritage, on Dad's side, and answers that age-old question "The Holmes family: Where did they come from, and why are they here?"
Don bought a new truck a 1986 Isuzu Pup with a matching camper shell recently, which he and Diane immediately took out for a test drive across the Rocky Mountains and back. Don stated in an interview with The Newsletter, "It drives great." Diane added, "I like the way the camper shell color matches the truck."
The Newsletter's roving explorer/photographer, Doug, known professionally as "Doug", called the paper recently from upstate New York, having just returned from an extensive canoe trip in the Adirondack Mountains with Dick Krueger. For those who don't know, Dick is an old friend of Dad's and somebody's godfather. Doug says everything is going great, and he's planning another trip in August that will take him over most of the northeast corner of the United States and into Canada.
For those of you wishing to contribute news items, ideas and/or cash, please feel free to do so. Send your contributions to The Holmes Family Newsletter, 8xx O_____ Avenue, Suite xx, Hayward, CA 94xxx. I'm serious. Cash is optional.